I Want Adventure in the Great Wide Somewhere

Someone asked me what I thought of Wild at Heart and my response could not be contained in a Facebook response comment. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge... The book describes itself in this way, "God designed men to be dangerous. Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires — aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free!" (Taken from Amazon.) 

That description points out the thing that bothers me the most about this book... It's extremely gendery. The author is all "men want adventure, women want security; men want passion, women want softness."  Anyone who knows me and my husband will know that our relationship is hardly so black and white. We both desire to do the brave and exciting thing, while both being inhibited by a need for safety and security. If anything, I want loudness and passion and excitement, and he desires quiet and peace and normalcy. So, when I was 19 and reading Wild at Heart it seemed strange that it seemed to be saying that men were created a certain way that women were not. I remember thinking, "Um, has this dude not seen Beauty & the Beast?" Belle famously sings, while twirling in a field of wild flowers (that should satisfy you, Mr. Eldredge) "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell." And her song resonated with every little girl in America, about a decade before Wild at Heart was released. 

Even though this book was intended for men, I was a fan of his previous works and found myself chapters in and finding that the message of the book spoke went straight to my teenage heart. I decided to overlook all references to gender and to simply see the bigger point of the book (which is a good thing, because had I thought too much about it, I would have wondered if I was actually a man). And that major theme was beautiful. The book, like Eldredge's previous works The Journey of Desire and The Sacred Romance, simply sang into my life. It helped define my path as a young person on the strange edge of who I had been and who I would be. 

I excitedly underlined, highlighted, and scribbled notes in the margin as I read. So much so, in fact, that when we got married, I think we got rid of my copy in favor of my husband's as mine was unreadable. The major themes of the book were so true and inspiring that even now, when I hear the name mentioned, I am filled with warmth and nostalgia and think, "Everyone should read that book." Of course, I think they should read it as I did, as the heroes of their own stories, not as princesses in towers, or as knights who would rescue those princesses and sweep them far away from adventure. But I think everyone, particularly teens and college students will benefit from the messages of finding what makes your heart and the heart of God beat together. This book helped me to see that your world is not defined by societal standards, you do not have to live in the perfectly defined box of 2.5 kids, a dog, and a mid-range income to pay for your house on the cul-de-sac. As Chris Rice sang (at about the same time this book came out), "There's a world out there that we left behind full of souls as important as yours and mine." 

John Eldredge asks, "What is written in your heart? What makes you come alive?" And he also discusses what keeps us from feeling that way. In Wild at Heart he digs deep into wounds — as a teenage girl whose parents were recently divorced, the chapters confronting relationships with parents were particularly poignant for me. Eldredge inspires the reader by reminding us that the battle is ongoing, but the Lord fights for us and that when we are fighting for the Lord, we are always on the winning side. 

So, for all of those reasons I believe it is an absolutely beautiful book. But now, over a decade and much life lived later... I have a different perspective on this book. I think there was a bit of something missing. I happened on it because the thing that made me come alive, the thing where I felt God was pleased with me and my work, happened to be ministry and working with children. Had my passion been ice skating, I think the further truth would have been harder to find... And that is this... Adventure is important, but adventure created for adventure's sake is not true adventure. There's a sense of adventure in climbing a mountain, or winning a game, or running super fast... And that all speaks to a bigger, truer adventure. The real adventure is not found simply by going to China and tasting the food. Real adventure is found when we live in communion with the heart of God. When we interact with the people he cares about, when we make a real difference, when we help build his kingdom through grace and mercy and love. And that doesn't usually look like the super masculine image that Eldredge presents in his book. Jesus did not come waving a sword like William Wallace delivering vengeance and fighting for his rights -- he came with meekness to deliver forgiveness and mercy. He wasn't acting like the hero of his own story, making it about him and his awesomeness; many of his miracles were done in secret. When people asked him questions he did not direct them to his own glory, but redirected them to the heart of those around him. Compare Jesus to the "wild man" that Eldredge describes and you will find little resemblance... and that's okay... because the ideas that Jesus espoused — forgiveness and accountability, compassion and relationship — these things take a lot of strength and hard work, and they are not for the faint of heart.  

So, I wholeheartedly support the idea that we ought to to take risks in the fight for the kingdom. I absolutely believe that the fight is worth it. And I one hundred percent endorse the message that we are capable of having our hearts made whole and fortified for the task at hand by a God who loves us beyond measure. But I do not think that this message is just for men, and that women should focus on being beautiful objects of desire. I think the fight looks a lot different than people expect. I furthermore believe, contrary to what the author seems to think, that Jesus would DEFINITELY encourage you to buy a safe car, because driving fast on an open road helps no one, and you certainly won't further the kingdom here on earth if you die doing it. 

This is from Waking the Dead, another book by the same author that is EXCELLENT and everyone should read it! "The glory of God is man fully alive."