My Word is Olaf

I've been seeing this everywhere this week, with the close of 2014 upon us. Choosing a word, one word for the upcoming year. I've never been super into New Year's. A day is very like the one before it and the one that will come after, to a mom. But this year we, as a family, face great change. So, I am embracing the sentimental. The idea of one word, is to find a word that will bring healing, encouragement, strength, or hope into your life... to harness the power of the tangible. To focus your energies into one goal. I find it a difficult task to choose one word, from the great number of words in the English language, to summarize my hopes, aspirations, and areas that need focused energy. Because no one meaning would do such a herculean task, I found an image, an idea, that would be my tangible word, my stone to hold in my hand and remind me of my goals — and the word I settled on, is Olaf.

When conjuring an image of what I want for my family, Olaf is a natural choice. He is in many ways the perfect choice, partly because his name will be constantly in front of me, a reminder every single time my children watch, play, or sing about Frozen. He is the embodiment of optimism and hope and "all good things, all good things." He is sunshine and warmth and happiness — and those are the things my family needs this year. But there is a deeper reason for my choice. There is something I need this year.

When Anna and Olaf arrive at Elsa's solitary ice palace to convince her to return home, Anna is making her case and Elsa is calmly telling her, "No, you must leave," when Olaf walks up and introduces himself. Elsa looks at him, completely shocked. She says, "I made you? And you're alive?" She is absolutely dumbfounded that she created something, and you see a bit of a nostalgic smile as she sees the results of her power, used well. She sees his sweet personality, the friendship he has with her sister... she sees the good she made, and for just a second she hopes, she remembers the beautiful relationship she had with her sister, the happiness of youth and the bonds of love... Then just as quickly she remembers the injury she dealt, and immediately her guard goes back up. It takes one second of fear to make her back down from pursuing the good things her power can do, and just moments later (after some serious harmonizing) she deals a greater injury to her sister, and creates a giant snow monster, completely from a place of fear.

So, what I need is to remember that the Lord has given me gifts and strengths, and while those are also, very frequently my weaknesses, he intended me to use them to create, to grow, to strengthen. In my massive fear of failure, I have squashed the desire to step out on a limb, or to engage with my life, because I have been afraid that I would mess things up with my crazy ideas or my passionate expression. I have run from my gifts, my strengths, my powers, forgetting that when I trust God, when I embrace a spirit of power, love, self control... then I can do good things and he can do GREAT things. And if I will not do those things, if I run in fear, I will only make it worse, abandoning those who need me and running from responsibility.

So let 2015 be the year of embracing my strengths, my passions, my gifts. Let these things overflow from a heart of love, filling my family's lives with warmth, and sunshine, and summer. Let me embrace my Olaf, the good thing that I can make. I want to build a snowman, because it's 2015, and I like warm hugs.

What We Deserve

I have heard it many times in the past few weeks, "He got what he deserved," "It's more than they deserve," "She deserves worse." I hear it almost daily in some form or another. Sometimes it is less direct, a "we know what happens to people like her," or a "be careful or you'll end up like him." 

This Christmas season I am floored by the similarities I hear between many Christians and the legal Jews of Jesus's time. "What should we do to this woman found with a man who is not her husband?" "What did this man do to deserve blindness?" "Who does this Samaritan think she is, talking to Jesus?" "What does he intend to do with that tax collector?" "This WOMAN would sit at Jesus's feet and learn! When will he condemn these actions?" 

The Jews of the day asked those questions because they had missed a crucial truth, that the law was never intended to redeem God's people. God's plan was never so limited in scope as to reach only the few, the special. The law was to serve as a guide for a people who were not developed or mature enough to understand the deeper heart of God for all people. You do good things and you will prosper, do bad things and you will not prosper. The law spoke deeper truths and set a standard for what was good behavior and what was not, but it was never the whole story. The legal Pharisees who often accused people were not understanding that when Jesus was born, the work that God was truly doing was revealed. They, like Jonah, ignored the truth that "God so loved the world that he sent his only son" who would bring "good news of great joy that would be for ALL people." 

If the world is a place where people get "what they deserve" instead of love and grace and acceptance — then Jesus might as well have never been born. Without grace Christmas is meaningless. If we will not extend grace and goodwill to ALL men, throughout the year — then we might as well leave Christ out of Christmas. As Paul says in Galatians, "If 'righteousness' comes through the law, then the Messiah died for nothing." 

Holding people to a standard that God does not hold us to, greedily sitting at the table of grace and offering none to those whose sin we believe to be greater than our own... This is anti-Christmas. This is keeping ourselves under the heavy burden of the law; setting ourselves on pedestals of our good works that are easily tipped by our own sinful selves. 

Let us not take away from Christ's birth, life, death and resurrection by forgetting to be gracious in our hearts to all people. Let us not diminish his work by forgetting that God does not define us by our actions, nor by our own worth, but rather, let us remember that God sees us as covered by his beloved son; he sees each and every person as precious and loved and valued with a worth beyond expression... Let us not take away from the meaning of Emmanuel by elevating ourselves above others. Let us not forget the worth of a person to God when they are punished, killed, tortured. Let us not diminish the work of Christ by diminishing the lives of our fellow man. Let us not take a victory lap around the fallen, those bearing the weight of sin in their life. "After all, God didn't send the son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world could be saved by him."

Instead, let us remember and honor Jesus Christ — who lowered himself to such a humble place, the body of that precious infant in a stable on this tiny planet — let us place him foremost in our hearts by looking with humility, and love, and grace to our fellow man. No matter a person's actions or background, let us see all people the way God sees them — as so valuable that he would give all to save them; remembering that he has given all for us. Let us live the birth of our Lord, the new covenant, every day, throwing off the shackles of the law. Let us always, with love and warmth and welcome, and, most importantly, with grace, "honor Christmas in our hearts, and try to keep it all year."

Peace on Earth

Peace on earth. Tidings of great joy that shall be for all people.

This season of Advent has brought much tragedy, much turmoil, much heartache. It seems like everywhere we look we see another sad sad situation. The news is filled with awful stories from the world. There are mothers everywhere whose hearts are breaking, but I needn't look as far as Peshawar to see that. A friend of mine lost her baby girl a couple months ago and faces a Christmas without a piece of her heart. My Facebook news feed is filled with loss and struggle.

It seems as if the entire world were crying out, just like long ago Israel, longing for redemption and deliverance. 

And I think about peace. And I wonder where the peace is. God promised peace. Where is it to be found? I am often reminded of this verse of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day:"

And in despair I bowed my head;

 "There is no peace on earth," I said;

"For hate is strong, and mocks the song 

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

So I ponder. Either the peace is here or it is not and God was a liar. I believe that the coming of Jesus brought peace, so there must be a problem with my perception. 

So I look again. I look and I see two Nobel prize winners from enemy countries embracing, one vulnerable, the other comforting - both strengthening the bonds of peace. I see children being adopted into loving and nurturing homes. I see starving people fed and cold people housed. I see new life growing in a friend who had recently had the ground of her life plowed and turned upside down. I see my Lost Boys sitting in my living room watching movies and chatting 'til midnight. I see communities providing happy Christmases to many who could not afford it themselves.

I see the places that have been peace to me. I see the hands that work to build better things, better lives for people... Hands that extend grace and help. And in these places I see home, warmth, and welcome despite sorrow and circumstance. John Denver sang it well when he said, "Sometimes this old farm feels like a long lost friend. Oh it's good to be back home again." 

In the things, in these places I see the people of God doing the work of God's kingdom. This people, with the Spirit of the living God burning inside them, a people who have the unique distinction of being the intersection of time and eternity... Using prayer to bring the power of eternity to each moment. I see places of solace, holy places that God has called his own from far across eternity. I see havens built by the heart of those who love. I see warmth and joy and welcome... I see home, a reflection of the home Jesus creates for us - And in those things I find peace. The Kingdom of Peace founded by Emmanuel and built by the hands of God, his people... And these things are never far away, even in the midst of tragedy. So let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: 

"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; 

The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, 

With peace on earth, good-will to men."

(Art cred: Grace Remington - I just saw it on the Internet and loved it.)

Advent Waiting

I have my own personal mountain to move. As any who have lived in full time ministry will understand, the past few years have been full and exhausting, and the past few months have brought much change to our life. Change that was good and necessary and relieving. But as with any change, challenges have arisen... financial challenges, the challenge of uncertainty, the fluctuating schedule, the stress of transition. Add these to the challenges already facing the parents of 4 children under 6 (kids who think sleep is for the weak) and it is no wonder that my husband and I feel drained, used up, and desperate for rest, for shalom. 

I am struggling. Struggling to engage in this life I have gotten myself into. Struggling to wake up every morning and face the challenges that every single day holds. Struggling to find joy and peace. And in this season of Advent and waiting, I find that I have been waiting the wrong way. I have been waiting as a spectator, asking God to move and waiting for Him to change me and my heart and my perspective. In my waiting I continue to struggle and suffer because I am afraid.

I forgot that one does not always wait as a spectator. That Mary and Joseph as they waited were not sitting down, digging in their heels, and refusing to go to Bethlehem. There was Mary, eight months pregnant and sometimes riding their little donkey, scared, away from her family and her mother, and about to face labor on her own. But she did not stop, she pressed on. Some may say she had no choice, but we always have a choice. She could have said no to the angel at the very thought of bearing a child. But she did not; she did not quiver in fear. She said of God, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant." She recognized that God is the God who sees and that He had seen her. She married Joseph, and they went to Bethlehem expecting, along with the whole world, the kingdom of God. 

Yet, here I am. Burnt out from my life. Tired of whiny kids and people with their problems. Tired of dishes and laundry and mops. Tired tired tired. And I ask God for rest, but one cannot rest in the middle of children. I ask God for peace, but there is no peace among toddlers. So I find myself asking God for joy, because even among loose teeth and first words and dancing and building towers and putting together puzzles - even there I have trouble finding true joy. I have trouble engaging when I have so many tugging at me with demands and so little self to give. I forget that God sees.

This post resonated with me, challenging me to move one stone at a time, until I find I have moved this mountain that blocks my path to joy. I must not wait silently and quietly for a change. I must make change. I must do the things I KNOW would make my attitude better. I must not cower in fear like Queen Elsa in her ice castle afraid of the damage she will do to the outside, unaware of the damage her isolation is doing... Afraid to take responsibility for fear of hurting people, unwilling to do the hard work of undoing what she has done. I must, I MUST recognize the good I CAN do. I must remember that God sees me and values me and knows my heart struggle. I must make small changes and face the challenges. I must stand up and participate in this life. I must be a spectator no more. I must engage. 

By doing that, with God's help lifting one small stone at a time, I will move my mountain. I will struggle through this advent season like the precious scared mother Mary struggled through the last days of her pregnancy, moving forward, trusting that God will bring the change He has promised. I will work in confidence that He will bring peace on earth and in my heart. That the kingdom will shine in my life as it did the night of its arrival here on earth. And with all of creation, I will rejoice. 

"Let every heart prepare Him room and heaven and nature sing." 

"And they took the babe and wrapped him in a stocking and laid him beneath their Christmas tree." 

I have a blog!

I was thinking recently that I might start a blog. Thought I'd maybe use blogger, come up with some cute name... Somewhere to pour out my heart and thoughts, because the 4 small things that live in my house don't seem to care much about my thoughts and feelings. 

So, I log into blogger to start a blog and lo and behold! Turns out I already have a blog! And it has a pretty cute name! Yay! One login and and an app download later and I'm totally a blogger again! 

Lookout world.